FourEver a Princess

Planning a fourth birthday for your fifth child shouldn’t feel stressful. At least, that’s what I’ve been reminding myself.

After hosting more parties and events than I can count over the years, I’ve made a quiet rule for myself: if it doesn’t bring me joy and instead pressures me to be perfect, I’m probably on the wrong path.

I’ve learned that little ones don’t remember the elaborate details we pour ourselves into. Sometimes I think the pressure to create the “perfect” party says more about us — about proving we’re good enough — than it does about celebrating the child.

And don’t get me wrong. There are moms who genuinely love throwing big, beautiful, over-the-top parties. It lights them up. I’m so thankful for those women. Truly.

But I think many of us are planning from a place of expectation — a standard we quietly handed ourselves about what makes a good mom.

For me? I like simple.

I love a little decorating. A banner. A few balloons. Something that makes my child feel extra special. But a full photo booth wall? That stresses me out — so I don’t do it.

Years ago, with five kids and a full calendar, my husband and I created another rule. We celebrate with “bigger” parties at milestone ages: 1, 5, 10, 13, 16, and 18. Those birthdays can involve friends and a little fanfare. The ones in between are meant to be simple and sweet.

It has relieved so much pressure — especially when four of our five children have birthdays within a little over a month.

This year, I broke the rule. (Which is something we need to give ourselves permission to do.)

For our four-year-old, I invited just her two preschool “besties” over.

If you’ve read some of my older posts, you know she’s been through a lot. I am so incredibly proud of the progress she has made this year. I didn’t want big. I didn’t want elaborate.

I just wanted a sweet little lunch and time to play.

It was perfect.